The Caregiving Lifestyle: Building a Life That Includes You
I’m one of roughly 40 million Americans caring for an aging parent or older adult. Many of us do this while also working, raising families, or running businesses. Some days feel like a careful balancing act; others feel like walking a tightrope in the dark.
The truth is, love alone isn’t enough to sustain you in this role. Caregiving asks for stamina, structure, and self-compassion. For me, it’s part logistics, part faith — and always a test of endurance. It’s juggling. It’s the 80/20 rule — trying to give 20 percent of my effort to accomplish 80 percent of what caregiving demands.
Why Caregivers Need More Than Love to Sustain the Role
Creating a caregiving lifestyle that leaves space for your own health isn’t indulgence; it’s survival — though, many times it can feel like a struggle. I’ve learned to budget time and energy like money — carefully, with limits.
You learn to say no, to improvise, to breathe before you break. Even with systems and schedules, the weight of it — emotional and physical — is real.
According to AARP’s Caregiving in the U.S. 2024 Report, nearly 78 percent of caregivers receive little or no outside help, and most provide more than 20 hours of unpaid care each week. It’s no surprise that fatigue, stress, and burnout are common. That’s why intentional self-care isn’t optional — it’s essential for caregiver resilience.
Simple Routines to Strengthen Stamina and Mood
In my own experience, the work of caregiving touches every corner of life. Finding time for quick, nutritious meals or movement can feel impossible. Yet the smallest habits — stretching for five minutes, stepping outside for sunlight, tending to my plants (poor babies, they get neglected at times), cooking one fresh meal — build stamina in quiet ways.
I’ve also learned to listen to my body and make sleep and rest priorities — yes, above ambition when necessary. The temptation to push through exhaustion is real, but recovery is what allows endurance.
Low-impact exercise such as walking, yoga, or light resistance training helps maintain flexibility, core strength, and balance. Not because it makes you “fit,” but because it keeps you functional — able to lift, bend, or simply keep going. Regular movement also improves mood, helps regulate blood pressure, and supports overall immunity.
Introverts, Connection, and Redefining Community Support
Community programs can be lifelines for many caregivers, but not all of us are joiners. My loved one and I are introverts. Our support looks different — quiet rituals, shared meals, unspoken understanding. Connection doesn’t always mean crowds. Sometimes it’s a text to a friend or a brief phone call that breaks the isolation.
Whether through structured support or simple presence, the key is energy renewal — finding what replenishes rather than drains.
Walking Them Home: Finding Yourself in the Work of Care
In Walking Them Home, I write about the delicate dance of caregiving — how tending to another life requires you to stay present in your own. It’s not about balance so much as belonging: creating a rhythm where both lives fit inside the same day.
Caregiving isn’t a pause on life. It is life — messy, holy, and demanding. The challenge is to build a version of it that still includes you.
What one small act could make your caregiving life include you, too?
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