The Caregiver Lifestyle

  You may have no desire to do your best imitation of Martha Stewart—but that’s kind of the point. That's a good thing.  The holidays come with expectations. And the worst ones? Not all of them come from other people. They’re the ones we place on ourselves. The ones that whisper, Look at me. I’ve got the best decorations. My cakes and pies are legendary. I serve the most delicious meal. My goodness, what a holiday to remember. And just like that, it becomes tradition. Did you notice the shift? How quickly the season moves from meaning to performance? Here’s the thing about caregiving: the holidays don’t stop for us, and we don’t stop for the holidays. The two just fold into each other—messy, imperfect—and somehow we’re still expected to stitch everything together into something that looks like joy. This year, I woke up and realized something. I don’t have the energy for the big version of Christmas. The one with matching pajamas. The good China. The kind o...

  This reflection is adapted from my upcoming book, Walking Each Other Home , where I explore what it really means to care for others without losing yourself. Caregiving Is an Intimate Relationship—But It Still Needs Boundaries Caregiving is a deeply personal and often sacred relationship. And just like any meaningful relationship, its success depends on establishing clear guidelines—rules of engagement that promote mutual respect, trust, and emotional well-being. Loving someone doesn’t mean losing yourself. Boundaries are how we protect the sacred parts of ourselves while loving others deeply. Why Boundaries Aren’t Selfish—They’re Essential It took time—and a lot of emotional exhaustion—for me to realize that setting boundaries isn’t about creating distance. It’s about creating space to protect my energy, time, and emotional well-being. Defining where I end and where others begin isn’t self-preservation—it’s self-respect. Boundaries allow me to care for others without dis...