Why They Still Try: The Unspoken Struggle Behind Risky Behavior in Older Adults


As caregivers, we often find ourselves asking:
"Why would they do that?"

Like when a parent with limited mobility tries to move furniture—alone.

Despite being told not to.
Despite a recent fall.
Despite the very real risks.

But it’s never just about the task.
It’s about autonomy, identity, and dignity.

🌀 They want control over their environment.
🌀 They grieve the loss of strength and independence.
🌀 They fear being a burden.
🌀 They’re trying to feel useful—even in small ways.

As caregivers, it’s easy to feel frustrated. But moments like this call for a deeper kind of compassion.

Maybe the real work isn’t moving the chair—it’s holding space for their pride, their grief, and their need to still matter.

If you’ve been here, I see you. I invite you to share your thoughts and experiences in the comments. Let’s talk openly about the hard-to-explain dynamics of caregiving—and the emotional complexity behind the choices our loved ones make.

💛 Sandra Knight
Caregiver Advocate | ✨ Self-Care Travel Coach | Writer
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