What New Caregivers Need to Know: A Guide to Your First 90 Days

 


Taking on the role of a caregiver is like stepping onto a rollercoaster you didn’t realize you’d boarded. One moment, you’re holding it together, and the next, you’re clutching the nearest metaphorical safety bar, bracing for the next twist or drop. I remember the first time I truly felt like a caregiver. It hit me during a call with my dad. He’d gotten lost on a trip to the doctor’s office—a route he’d driven for 30 years. That moment changed everything.

If you’re new to caregiving, welcome to a club you didn’t sign up for but one that will change your life. The first 90 days are critical. You’re learning on the fly, managing overwhelming emotions, and trying to be everything to everyone. But here’s the good news: you don’t have to do it alone, and you don’t have to figure it all out in one day. Let’s walk through some key lessons to help you navigate this new chapter.

1. Stay Organized, Even When Life Feels Chaotic

Caregiving is a juggling act of appointments, medications, and endless to-do lists. Invest in a good planner or use an app to track everything—from doctor’s visits to when prescriptions need refills. I can’t tell you how many times having detailed notes saved me from second-guessing myself during a doctor’s appointment. Color-code if you must (it’s oddly satisfying), but find a system that works for you.

Pro Tip: Keep a folder with all important documents, like insurance info, medical history, and emergency contacts. When the unexpected happens—and it will—you’ll be prepared.

2. Build Your Support System

No caregiver is an island, though it often feels that way. Reach out to family, friends, or even community resources for support. It’s tempting to think, “I’ve got this,” but burnout is real and sneaky. Learn to ask for help before you’re desperate for it.

Pro Tip: Look for caregiver support groups online or in your area. Talking to people who “get it” can be a lifesaver—both emotionally and practically. Build your village and avoid the loneliness of the caregiver's life and to be energized when running on empty.

3. Practice Sustainable Self-Care

This isn’t about bubble baths (though those are great too). Sustainable self-care means finding small, consistent ways to recharge so you can show up for your loved one. Maybe it’s a 15-minute walk while they nap, or listening to your favorite podcast during errands. Think of self-care as the fuel that keeps your caregiving engine running.

Pro Tip: Schedule your self-care like you would an appointment. It’s not selfish; it’s survival.

4. Learn About Resources Early

Navigating caregiving is easier when you know what’s available to you. From respite care services to government programs, there are tools designed to lighten your load. It’s worth the time to research what’s out there and make a list of options.

Pro Tip: Local agencies on aging can be a goldmine of information. Don’t hesitate to call and ask questions.

5. Accept That Imperfection Is Inevitable

You’re going to make mistakes, forget things, lose your patience. or feel like pulling your hair out in frustration. That doesn’t make you a bad caregiver; it makes you human. The sooner you embrace imperfection, the sooner you can focus on what truly matters: doing your best with the resources you have.

Pro Tip: Start every day with grace for yourself. Progress, not perfection, is the goal.

Wrapping It Up

The first 90 days of caregiving can feel like a whirlwind. But with a little organization, a strong support system, and a commitment to sustainable self-care, you can find your footing. Remember, you’re not alone in this journey.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, I’ve been there too. That’s why I’m writing my book—to share the lessons I’ve learned and the tips that have made all the difference. Stay tuned for more details, and in the meantime, take it one day at a time. You’ve got this!

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